Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Smorgy's - All You Can Eat

Above: The boat benches that held the food

I went to Smorgy's All You Can Eat Restaurant with some work mates recently. Let me just say that it was one of the worst dining experiences I've had in terms of food.

Above: The really fake looking water fall with stuffed animals hanging off the plastic vines

I had remembered that Smorgy's used to be ok. The food was ok in the past. However, it has only gone downhill ever since. The last time I went, which was quite a while ago, it was already terrible. I tried to convince our lunch organiser, who will not be named as he/she copped enough from everyone afterwards, that Smorgy's was terrible. However, she (oops I mean he/she) said that it was ok the last time she went (oops I meant he/she again, ok you beat it out of me, the culprit was Hien hahaha). So I said I will give it a try and make judgement after.

Above: The radiant expectant mother Hien showing me the cake that even her unborn baby didn't like

Well here is my judgement. It is a totally tacky place with their ultra fake scenery and stuffed animals, with really bad cold food and way too expensive. The food truly was extremely bad. I know I'm a fairly fussy eater, but even the non fussy eaters amongst us couldn't find anything good. Everything was also fairly cold, so must have been sitting in those bain-maries for a while. How can they even do the most basic of things such as roast beef, battered fish and potato salad badly. The local supermarket sell better potato salad in a pre-packaged tub. There was even a little notice on the table saying that they had new chefs. Was that some sort of ironic joke? If it isn't, they should fire the chef. One work mate asked what was in a certain bay maria since there was no label, to which the chef just rudely said "I don't know" and turned and walked away. How could you not know what you're cooking, in a buffet of all places where nothing ever changes.

There was only two minor redeeming things from the experience. Firstly, the view outside via the floor to ceiling glass walls was great. I could see far into the grassy mountainous suburbs.

Above: The view out of the windows

The other small redeeming thing from the whole experience was the desserts. Usually desserts at buffets taste like flour with colouring in it. They had two desserts that were ok and edible at least, three if you count the fresh fruit salad. There was this egg custard type mixture with raisins that I kind of liked. The chocolate mousse also had some chocolate flavour and I didn't mind that either.

Overall Rating: 6/20, I've given 6 points just for the view and desserts. Otherwise, it was totally aweful, from the food to the tacky decorations to the food. Yes the food was really bad, even for buffet standards. Don't waste your hard earned money, go eat at an expensive buffet where you will actually enjoy the food.

Scores: 1-9: Unacceptable, don't bother. 10-11: Just OK,some shortcomings. 12: Fair. 13: Getting there. 14: Recommended. 15: Good. 16: Really good. 17: Truly excellent. 18: An outstanding experience. 19-20: Approaching perfection, Victoria's best.


  1. "Don't waste your hard earned money, go eat at an expensive buffet where you will actually enjoy the food."

    This doesn't apply to you Fat Do. Your money is scummed from us Tax Payers. Standing outside the queue every fortnight at Centrelink doesn't exactly count as 'hard earned'.

  2. Anonymous, you know how cold it gets standing in that Centrelink queue. I work very hard for that money.

  3. Shame!!!

    I thought Smorgy's would be right up your alley Thanh!!!

    Tasteless food, bad atmosphere etc.

    From what I've read on your blog you clearly know nothing about decent food or good atmosphere (TAB lol)!!!

    I was sure this was destined to be your best review yet!!!


  4. Hahaha, despite what you think, I hate Smorgy's.

  5. I use your blog often and agree completely on Movida but don't wait just go to the walk up bar. What is a bay maria though? Do you mean bain-marie??

  6. Anonymous, I agree that going to the bar is a good idea. Only when the group is a bit larger does sitting at a bar make it hard for everyone to talk with each other.

    I do mean a bain-maire. I've made the fix, thanks for pointing that out.

  7. yeah there right man