Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Wild Oscars - Tell The Customer What They Want

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.
- Oscar Wilde

I think my friends and I can apply that Oscar Wilde quote to our situation at Wild Oscars. Let me start from the start.

We were going to the footy to see the Hawks play the Swans at the 'G. So we decided to have lunch on Swan Street. We've had some bad experiences with meals before sporting matches, we tend to have to eat rather quickly to get to the match on time. On Swan Street, we've probably had one of our worst experiences at Red Lemon, where we had to walk out without eating at all. Well this time, the plan was to eat at the Swan Hotel. But such is the case, we always divert from our plans. We can now add Wild Oscar as another terrible pre-sporting match meal.

When Justin spotted the lunch special sign at Wild Oscars, we stopped to read it carefully. It sounded quite good. Then I piped in with the fact that Wild Oscars was on The Chopping Block (where they lost). We were now intrigued and decided to give it a go. That was our fatal mistake for the day.

We were "seated" by the waitress, who waved at a table across the room and told us to have a seat. I remembered from The Chopping Block that Wild Oscars' service was rather casual, it didn't seem to have changed, and that opinion was backed up later on. However, I'm not writing to review the place. I'm writing to air my grievances at the way they run the place.

When we got the menu, we all made our choices. Adrian wanted to try their "best on Swan Street" parma. They stuck the sign up again even after Matt Moran told them to take it off since the sign was just their own self claim. Anyway, I decided on the lunch special Chicken Burger. When the waitress came to take our orders, we asked if we could order from the lunch special. It was now that she said we could only order from the breakfast menu. So, we thought that the lunch specials didn't apply yet. Despite being slightly upset at the false advertising sign outside, we decided to order off the normal menu. Again, she said that we couldn't order anything from the lunch menu at all, only breakfast. What the?

Who wants to eat breakfast at 11:30am? Apparently, ALL their customers want to eat breakfast until that time. So we quadrupled checked with her that we couldn't even order the normal meals that cost a lot more? Nope, nothing at all off the lunch menu. "Before 12pm, only breakfast, and after 12pm, only lunch".

What the fuck is this, a regime by the Breakfast Nazi. I know McDonalds has that policy, but they're a multi-million dollar chain that can't change the rules for one customer only, and even then, they're befreakfast menu only goes to like 10:30am. But what is stopping the Wild Oscar chef from cooking the parma a few minutes earlier. I understand that a lot of places don't want people ordering the cheaper breakfast menu after a certain time, but to not allow us to order the more expensive meal a few minutes early is just crazy. She then even had the nerve to ask if we wanted to wait till 12pm to order off the lunch menu. No, we don't want to wait. We had been tricked into entering. There was no time on the Lunch Specials sign. And then we could only order, eggs, eggs or eggs. What if I am allergic to eggs?

Adrian, a lawyer, then said to us, what if we order before 12pm but the food doesn't come till after 12pm. What then? Are we obeying this apparent rule that I've never heard of. I then chimed in that we should say that we can't accept this food after 12pm and demand a free lunch. Justin then joked that his stomach can't handle breakfast after 12pm.

We were in a rush so couldn't be bothered leaving and decided to eat our "lunch". The whole time, I also got an eyeful of the waiters underwear. They were in directly line of sight of the TV that I was watching. Their belt-free skinny jean uniforms just kept coming down each time they bent down to get a glass. They also stuffed up our coffee orders, had no quality control on the serving sizes and tried to charge us an extra coffee. Luckily we spotted that error and pointed it out to them.

The service may suppose to be "relaxed", but to me, they're just tardy and unprofessional. And in total contrast to the supposed relax style that they operate the restaurant in, their breakfast/lunch debacle is just ridiculous. We tried to talk some sense but it was useless. We kept asking for clarification that we couldn't order anything at all on the menu? The ludicrous nature of the question was clearly lost on the waitress. Reason was clearly not something they employ (pun intended) at the restaurant. My tip, give Wild Oscars a pass unless you're in for a challenge and want to try out your brute reasoning skill.

EDIT: I think this video with Jack Nicholson sums it up pretty well.


  1. Love the clip. Cummulus Inc also has this policy. It's a bit annoying.

  2. 9:47 AM

    Where do you find the time for all this?? That's why you don't get many calls to job agencies.

    If it's time better spent blogging your butt off so be it.

  3. You should still make a score out of 20 for the place. You did stay and eat. Serves you right Fat Do for not organizing lunch earlier instead you picked a random place and you got shit again.

    "What the fuck is this, a regime by the Breakfast Nazi"

    Now Fat Do, watch your mouth. Don't make me put soap in there.

    Simple advice. Get to Glen Waverley first to eat at Kowloon Cafe and then that's it.

  4. Ed, why do restaurants have this policy. Even if they have this policy, enforcing it till about 10:30am is resonable, but till 12pm, that's ridiculous.

    Seek, I do enjoy blogging a lot, maybe you can find me a job where I get paid to blog.

    Anonymous, we did stay and eat. But I don't think its that easy to judge this place since all I had was eggs and bacon.

    It wasn't my fault we ate there.

    I only swear when its necessary.

    Kowloon Cafe have equally good service, I know.

  5. you didn't say whether the waiter was male or female. plumber's cleavage looks so much better on one than the other, and might even be worth having breakfast at 11.30 ;)

  6. Danny, it was this really alternative looking guy. He had one the tightest jeans ever and ever time he bent down to get a beer from the fridge under the bar, his buttocks would be mooning me.

  7. Hang on - are you saying that you could have bought a BEER there before noon, but not LUNCH?! Whoa...

  8. Yep, we could have got a beer before noon, just not lunch. That was what their customers want apparently. :-)

  9. I'm quite the regular at Wild Oscars, most of the time being before we go to the footy. I disagree very much to your blog. I find the guys that work there to be most friendly and attentive. My wife and I have become regulars for the last 6 months because of this. If you wish to eat out before you go to the footy, I suggest that you book first. I find it strange that this never occurred to you in all the times that you have complained about service in restaurants you have visited. Maybe it is not the restaurants with the problem?

  10. Anonymous, you can definitely disagree with what I say, but it won't change my opinion of them. The service wasn't rude, but just unprofessional. I don't think booking would have helped in this or the Red Lemon situation. It wasn't that we couldn't get a table in both cases. Booking would not have changed the service in either case. In this case, it was that we weren't allowed to order lunch, only breakfast. Why have a lunch board sign outside (with no indication of what time that applies) and then not let customers order off the lunch menu.

  11. well then maybe you should stick to your McDonalds sweety, because you sound fat anyway...


  12. Sorry to hear you were so hard done by. But I just checked their website as I am researching a pub crawl. I checked out their menu, and all the times food is served is right at the top of the menu. I live in Richmond (and have to put up with those horible football people that rubbish our suburb) and often look for places that serve breakfast at 4pm. I can only assume you are constant complainer. Go back to the Kath and Kim suburbs where you belond. If you are so good, then why don't you open your own restaurant and wait for customers like yourself to come in. Tell us where you work, and I will come in a write a review about that!

    "Just because you scream the loudest, doesn't mean you feel the most pain." - Me.

  13. Anonymous 1, I don't like Maccas. I don't see how me being fat has anything to do with the fact that I couldn't get lunch until after 12pm.

    Anonymous 2, thanks for your input firstly. But to clear a few things up, like I wrote, we walked past the restaurant and saw the lunch special board outside the restaurant. It wasn't like we planned it out beforehand and checked out the website thoroughly. But you're missing my point from the post.

    a) Why have the sign displayed without making it clear that you don't serve that until later. I don't think it was unreasonable for all four of use to assume that they would serve lunch at 11:30am.

    b) Why force us to only eat breakfast when they could be pleasing the customer as well as making more profit from us ordering off the lunch menu. It's not like there is a magic switch that stops them from cooking lunch items before 12pm. Or is their ingredients so fresh that the lunch items only get delivered right on 12pm.

    About having breakfast late, that's harder to find as restaurants want to maximise profits and don't want patrons ordering the cheaper breakfast menu after a certain time. Most places still let you order off the breakfast menu until quite late, which is a great idea. But we had the reverse situation at 11:30am. It's not like we wanted lunch at 9am in the morning.

    You're assumption that I'm a constant complainer is without merit. I can assume that you're a complainer too as you're complaining on this blog. Plus, you must also be a bigot as you don't want Asians in "your" suburb and that I should go back to the bogan Kath and Kim suburb where I belong? So should I make that assessment of you from your comments? Or should I just think that you disagree with my opinions and leave it at that.

    Where in the whole article do I say I am so good? If I had the money, I would open my own restaurant. I will have confidence in the chef that I hire to let people have their opinion on the food. Paying customers vote with their wallets.

    I work at Telstra, please ring the hotline and complain.

    I'm not the only one screaming. My friends all thought their misleading lunch special sign and the poor service is not worth going back for. Plus, even when they were on The Chopping Block, the judge said their service was really poor.

  14. Fat and stupid Do,

    Why do you always play the 'race' card when defending yourself?

    What makes you assume that anonymous is not welcoming to Asians or he isn't Asian himself?

    Sounds like you're just a tad bit insecure about your genetic makeup.

    You should really look at your guts and see where they are picking on you.

  15. Oblivion, I'm not using the race card. I'm taking an extreme example by maknig wild assumptions based on the fact that someone didn't agree with me about a restaurant. I'm doing the same assumptive behaviour that the commenter has taken.

    Sound likes your a fatist, what do you have against fat people?

  16. Did you just call me a racist? If you meet me face to face you could see the colour of my skin. You really need to grow up. But I understand that you will do anything to draw attention to yourself. You want to meet with my parents, yeah, I am sure you will think it is funny when half your family is lying in a bloody ditch. Sorry, but that is reality. You need to think before you speak. Have respect.

    (I am so angry at your ignorance, but I will put it aside.)

    To be honest, I went to Wild Oscars today for breakfast, because of this review. I loved the food. But I was late. I got there at 12:15 and breakfast was no longer being served. And I challenged the emo looking staff as to why. Why? Why?

    And here is what I was told?

    The building was originally a bank. And the kitchen is now were the safe used to be. It is very small. When I was heading up to the toilets I almost walked into the kitchen. Then I took the opportunity to ask...I repeat...”I asked”...if I could have a look. The kitchen was tiny, I even joked that I could place my hand on the ceiling without my elbow being extended. And I asked why breakfast was not longer being served (the opposite to you I know), and they said they don’t have the room to do both. That was as far as I went.

    But I could not have breakfast. True. But in a kitchen that size I am amazed they could do much at all. I have worked in many Asian and vegetarian restaurants. I think maybe they just don't have the space to do two menus (breakfast and mains) at the same time.

    I ended up having a prawn and chicken pasta and I thought it was divine, though a little hot. I am not a fan of pasta or risotto, but this one I was happy to eat. I didn't see any bum crack, I am happy for that and I agree that no waiter should show it. I would never want to eat and see some low rider budgie smugglers. But I found Wild Oscars a nice (late) morning effort.

    I don't mean to drum it in. But...we live in one of the most multicultural places on the planet. Please do not suggest that I or anyone else is a racist. That is horrible. What I have learnt living in an individualist society is they are sometimes more to other way of life than my parents would have been.

    If you suggest I am in any way racist, I think you need to look inside yourself before making such statements. Think before you write nonsense. It is easy to judge. But sometimes you should ask “why?” And when you do, you will probably find the answers.

    Any response I am sure will be nothing but petty. Please think.

  17. I am being nice right now. But if you ever make another racist comment like you just did I will report you to the police.

  18. Anonymous, no I did not call you a racist. As I wrote to Oblivion, I was trying to show you how ridiculous it is to assume things from a few words that people write. Just like you assume that I'm a complainer and told me to go back to my Kath and Kim suburbs, I could just as easily turn that around and assume you're a racist. But I did not call you a racist.

    If I need to grow up, what about yourself. Even if I did call you a racist, does that mean that you can kill my family. Geez. Talk about extreme. If I need to respect people, so should you. If reality is that when someone says a few words to you, no matter how bad it is, you go and kill them, then your reality is extremely warped indeed.

    Now that we've established that I haven't called you a racist and hopefully you won't be killing my family, we can discuss the restaurant itself.

    I don't object to them doing either breakfast or lunch separately. What I objected to, and have repeated a million times, is that they put up the lunch special sign with very cheap prices, which is what drew us into the restaurant. But that lunch wasn't available until later, which they did not make clear anywhere until we were ready to order.

    I will repeat that I did not call you a racist. I was trying to show you how in the same way that you can assume things about me, I can make ridiculous assumptions about you too from the few things you write. Why did you tell me to go back to my Kath and Kim suburb where I belong? You explain to me what that means then?

    Now I don't think my response has been petty at all. For the final time, if you read my post carefully, what I objected to was that they advertised their lunch special with a board outside even though it wasn't available. If we had seen that the lunch special wasn't available until 12pm, we would have made a judgement call whether to wait or go elsewhere.

  19. A true racist8/28/2008 3:47 PM

    My ears are burning


  20. The place used to be a bank?

    emo looking waiters heheheheh

    maybe you anonymous didn't see any bum cracks because well...unlike Do, you weren't actively seeking them.

  21. Twisting people words around is cute when you are a kid. When you are an adult it is called manipulative.

    I never said I would kill your family. My mothers family were killed in Poland, they died after being shot in a ditch near her home town. She lived and was taken to Hungry by a soldier that found her. That is why she came to Australia. That is what I was refering to until you decided to pull the race card.

    Kath and Kim = people from outer suburbs that have no idea how to act in the inner city culture. Eg, YOU.

    Went past the place today and checked what you were saying. At the top of the menu it gives the cooking times. It is very, very clear. Do you want it to be on a neon sign?

    Admit you were wrong. Your review is without worth. It was your mistake, not theirs. It is your petty passive-agressive arrogance that leads what you say. I hope at Telstra you show more professionalism than you do here.

    I never brought race into this. You did.

    Again, grow up.

    I will never look up this blog again. Where are the moderators?

    Congratulations, you were in a call centre. That is a job for people that no one else will employ. And I won't mention the Telsta suicides (google it, idiot).

  22. Anonymous, I am not trying to twist your words around. Let me show you your sentence

    "You want to meet with my parents, yeah, I am sure you will think it is funny when half your family is lying in a bloody ditch."

    Notice the words "your", how am I suppose to know you mean your own family and not mine. Your generally refers to the person you are talking to.

    I'm sorry to hear about your mum, that is indeed a sad story.

    So we have established that you were the first one to start throwing insults around by telling me to go back to my Kath and Kim suburb.

    Like you said, on the menu it says the time. I will say this for the last time, it didn't show that on the big chalk board that had outside their restaurant advertising cheap lunch meals. It didn't indicate what time they were serving lunch meals and it's fair for us to assume that at 11:30am, we could get lunch.

    Why don't you admit you're wrong. If I was wrong, I'm more than happy to admit it. But I don't think this is the case.

    You can choose whether you want to read this blog or not. We can agree to disagree or you can keep trying to prove I'm wrong or you can actually read what I keep writing. The chalk board sign outside does not state when the lunch specials are available.

    See, there you go, calling me an idiot. Gee, I wonder who is the child now.

  23. Dam!!!

    Please don't leave anonymous.

    Your comments are driving this blog.

  24. I don't think he will read your response now Do.

    So your response is as pointless as Robot's overwriting tasks.

  25. So, your biggest comlaint about this restauraut was a chalk board on the street which you failed to comprehend? Is that your review.

    Please never enter the city of Melbourne, you will leave a basket case.

  26. Anonymous, I'll reply to your comment one last time, after which I don't think there is any more point me replying as you're the one that's not comphrehending.

    I did understand what was written on the chalk board, which was "Lunch Specials for $12". It then proceeded to list the specials. What it didn't show was when these were available, yet the sign was already displayed at a time when it was unavailable. And yes that was part of my "review" (I put review in quotation marks as I didn't actually review the food, just brought up an issue about misleading advertising) among other service issues.

    I will continue to go to the city as I have no problems dealing with the surroundings. I'll leave it to you to go back to Wild Oscars to find out more and more things to try to prove me wrong at every step, yet have still been unable to and hence keep changing the discussion topic. You can also thank me for alerting you to Wild Oscars, which you say you enjoy, and let me have my own opinions about that place.

  27. Fat Do,

    You had no problem comprehending the $2 peep show.

    You had a bag full of 2 dollar coins!!